Sexy Studio Visits: The Gallerina with a Heart of Gold

Another guest post from the better-than-average-looking gallerina who’s better at giving advice than taking it.

Emily Post!

Q: I’m a female freelance writer and curator.  I have this problem where whenever I invite myself to do a studio visit with an artist, it turns into a date.  I don’t know why he or she assumes I’m using the studio visit as an excuse to get boned!

A: I don’t think there’s any way that you can escape the peril of the studio visit that manifests itself as a date.  Even if you were performing a studio visit with someone who you’re not attracted to – say, Javier Peres, although I think he’s a sexy bear – some qualities of a studio visit seem eerily like a date.  The two of you are alone, making small talk about your current projects, goals, and even your art scene dreams.

Honestly, if the artist begins to look into your eyes hungrily, just make it clear that you’re interested in the work and not his or her holes.

It’s incredibly disrespectful to have a studio visit turn into a pick-up situation for a young female curator and writer who wants to be taken seriously.  Unless you want to wear frumpy clothes and stop bathing, you will always have to deal with the fact that other people will imagine what you look like naked. I’m convinced that as long as you look remotely female, regardless of whether or not you wear American Apparel, men in the arts will want to sleep with you.  They’re some of the most oversexed people in the world, thinking that because they’ve made it in their field, they can do anything and anyone. Young or old, men and women will want to sleep with you. Get used to it.

Tips:

If an artist asks you out to a bar after the studio visit, then you can rest assured that you were right in your assumptions about the visit turning into a date. Just be blunt about whether or not you want to puruse that path after the studio visit.

Never do a first studio visit at a restaurant or cafe. Sorry for those artists who don’t have a studio or who work primarily on their laptops, but this is just not professional unless you’ve already had an in-person studio visit or you know the person fairly well.

Comments
2 Responses to “Sexy Studio Visits: The Gallerina with a Heart of Gold”
  1. Biobebop says:

    I finished Steve Martin’s Object of Beauty a little while ago, and he’s of a totally different opinion than the Gallerina! While he mostly cloaks the young protagonist’s motives in a convenient ambiguity, Martin’s work suggests that the troubled young curator here would be well served by just banging (actually “morosely fucking”) artists then and there for some future advantage, even if only that the exchange gives her the tingles (erotic or, um, transmitted) when she next sees their work. I know that sounds like tedious amount of bopping, but the young curator should think of her future tell-all memoir!

    On a slightly more serious note, after having a probably more intimate conversation in the studio than most uptown girls and Wall Street stiffs manage before their first child, it’s not a surprise that Eros starts clambering around inside somebody’s pants.

    • I think it’s the false impression of intimacy that sparks thoughts of eroticism, too.

      During a studio visit, I once had an artist tell me in response to my comments about his work that “I really understand him.” I understood his work, but that was it!

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